Culture > Reviews

Billy Bean -- Going the Other Way
A Lavender Salon Review
by John Olski
Posted 9/03

Going the Other Way offers Billy Bean's account of Lessons from a Life In and Out of Major-League Baseball, the book's more apt subtitle.  Written with Chris Bull, the story of Bean's "in and out" with respect to the Major League refers to his homosexuality and the proverbial closet; to life before and after a baseball career; and to the career itself, which saw Bean repeatedly sent back to minor-league play.

Billy Bean made news when he "came out" in the media as a gay, ex-ballplayer in 1999, though he had found a life-partner prior to that time and had also "come out" to family and friends.  Riding the gay, pro athlete story, Bean also rankled a few gay activists by suggesting, on an HBO sports comedy, that a gay athlete might need to think about the brief timeframe of a pro sports career when weighing the decision to live openly.

Bean acknowledges that being "out" in retirement is a small step for gay men in team sports, and that the really brave player will be the athlete who lives openly during his professional career.

Bean's story is one of career investment, and his book -- one Lavender Salon attendee noted -- is written as much for the struggling athlete as for the gay person.  Following a childhood obsession with superheroes and an early family life marked by an absent father, Bean turned to sports as a structured outlet for organizing tendencies his mother noticed early on.  A late-bloomer physically, Bean gained stature by the end of high school and found baseball to be his forte.

Going the Other Way largely traces Bean's 10 seasons with the Detroit Tigers, the Dodgers and the San Diego Padres.  It's a story of repeated excitements and disappointments as Bean gets to bat for the majors, only to be moved back to minor-league clubs when big-name players are traded or return from injury.

Bean's story touches on the homophobia of players and coaches, as well as on the lack of equal protections and benefits for gay people in pro sports.  Bean's first love, diagnosed with HIV, died early on the day of an exhibition game in San Diego.  Bean recalls proceeding to a team lunch event unable to tell anyone -- including his mother -- about the real magnitude of the loss.  Tommy Lasorda had already lost his own son to AIDS-related complications at the end of Bean's stint with the Dodgers, but denial was the course of the day, and Bean had internalized the anti-gay tenor of pro baseball.

Billy Bean's story touches on many self-deceptions that gay men employ in confronting their sexual orientation.  One Lavender Salon member was suspicious that Bean's book moves quickly through high school and college without accounting for the athlete's homosexuality.  How, too, could a gay man marry a woman when he was old enough to know better?  "Denial" may again be the accurate term, even if it somehow fails to satisfy.  Put another way, .300 is a fine batting average, though not likely to satisfy a pro ballplayer.

Going the Other Way is a relatively light, well-written book.  Billy Bean's story offers a good look at professional baseball for those not well-acquainted with the sport, and it points to a lot of gay life issues even if it fails to answer some complicated questions.